- me: why do Bad Things happen to me
- me, remembering im a fundamentally horrible person: ah.....yes,..
- me: wow i think i'm recovering well tbh i haven't had a breakdown in 2 months
- mental illnesses: *jaws theme*
maybe i am just there not here like in the moment even i feel like i just float around im not an asset nor a liability just a simple spec of dust and honestly its comforting to feel indifferent but it fucks me up when i say things or display such a conflicted attitude in order to search for the right emotions haha
when I die tell my mom i think the lowest of her and i remain indifferent towards the thought of her falling down many flights of stairs




